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bronjaynes
New Member
| Joined: | 19 October 2009 |
| Location: | USA |
| Posts: | 4 |
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Posted: 22 October 2009 01:12 pm |
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suenos wrote: And I ate a cookie, lol. Seriously, I was just so mad I was pacing the floor and I grabbed a cookie and shoved it in my mouth just because I was so annoyed - now what kinda sense does that make? None.
LOL. I completely understand. Here are a list of the bad things for my diet that I do when my boss pisses me off at work.
1. Smoke- makes things worse I know.
2. Grab a doughnut... A glazed krispy kreme does it for me. so much for weight loss.
3. Watch another episode of Christopher Guerrero's episode and forget about it the next second.
4. Go out drinking beer with friends right after.
What a calorie count!
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 29 October 2009 06:34 pm |
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whoooo, didn't realize how long it's been since I've updated! I've been going, going, going but today I'm taking the day off (worked through the week-end), slept in, no work-out, just house cleaning, laundry and breathing - oh yea, and trashy t.v. and a nap or two! And updating my diary and getting to catch up on others. Oh yea.
So first: Hiya Jack! Hiya Bronjaynes!
can ya hear me yet? um, not really, but I'm trying. I've made a conscious decision to give "instinctive eating" a full go and so far so good. The thing is that I've noticed whenever and for whatever reason I decide to change up my eating (whether it's to lose/gain weight, emphasize the healthy, etc.) I am immediately assaulted by ridiculous cravings. This time has been no different...but rather than fight it I've decided to just roll with it baby - with a twist. Like the other night (as in 2 friggin a.m.) I had this huge "want strawberry ice cream bad enough to go to the store in my pj's and buy it" craving. So I figured something in that was what my body needed, 2 a.m. or no. A handful of grapes and a glass of milk later and the craving went "poof". I suspect it was the milk.
take it off - take it all off. That's what I said and that's what my hairdresser did. For the first time in my adult life I have short hair and I'm loving it. Truly, having long, naturally unruly hair is WORK - and I have enough of that. Funny thing is that the boy misses it a lot and I don't.....maybe cause he's not the one dealing with it every day!
missing in action. so, one of the things I've been dealing with is a friend who's gone off the deep, deep end. Now I can't get a hold of her - won't return text, phone on auto go to messages and she's quit her job and cut off contact with her family and other friends so I'm worried but my hands are pretty tied.
hmm, getting sleepy....nap time, I'll be back
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jackbenimble
New Member
| Joined: | 1 May 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 761 |
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Posted: 31 October 2009 05:34 am |
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Backacha, Suenos.
So, short hair, huh? I'm with the boy. I like it long.
Grapes and milk are exactly what I should've just eaten instead of what I just ate.
You sound like a good friend - I'm sure your friend will resurface soon.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 1 November 2009 05:38 am |
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hee hee Jack: tell ya what I told the boy "you like long hair - stop getting yours cut and there ya go!" And I'm over my friend - she's totally in the grip of her loser boyfriend who won't be satisfied until she's totally wrecked her life like he's wrecked his own.....I've tried, heck we've all (friends and family) tried, but when somebody is determined to self destruct - well, I figure that's a choice they get to make.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 2 November 2009 04:01 am |
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| so, I just gotta say that the intutitive eating thing is working wonderfully. and that is all.
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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 3 November 2009 02:12 am |
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good
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 3 November 2009 10:01 pm |
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zen:
so, I've really been a slacker about writing my food down everyday, although it was something I really wanted to do, epecially since I've been going all gung ho on the intuitive eating thing -wanted to see what that looked like - but it's kinda a time thing -as in I really don't have time to do a daily account.
But, I do want to get this down cause it was a like a mini revelation. I was in the grocery store this morning - a quick pit stop run to get cheese and grapes and there was this little display of peanut brittle. I don't think I've eaten peanut brittle one single time since the age of maybe nine or ten - but suddenly, man, I really really wanted it. So, I did the "okay, what's in this that my body wants and I'll get that instead" routine - but, nope, it was the peanut brittle itself that for some reason I just had to have. So I went ahead and took it to the check-out line...insert here that the whole point of intuitive eating is being "non-restrictive"- not in the sense of pigging out or eating candy for breakfast and pizza for lunch, but just in the sense of not fighting your body cause it does a pretty good job of instintively knowing what it needs and will signal appropriately.
Anyhooooooo, I'm in the check-out line and the cashier said something about the peanut brittle looking delicious and out of nowhere I'm like: "yea, my mom used to make it all the time when I was a kid" and she said her mom used to make it too and we had this little chat about candy type stuff that our moms used to make but that we have no idea how to make ourselves (like fudge and taffy). And I'm leaving the store realizing that it was the whole "my mom used to make it when I was a kid" thing that I was drawn to, like the sudden desire for peanut brittle was an emotional craving rather than a physical craving.
So I happily nibble on my little packet of peanut brittle through the morning, and had other pleasent memories of my mom, putting me a not so much sad - just nostalgic - mood. And then, at some point, I simply lost the desire for the taste of it and easily tossed the remainder.
Now I'm thinking about this, in my usual over-analyze everything kinda way. I think the impending family oriented holidays and our recent decision to set a date on starting our own family has had me missing my mom, but in an under the radar sorta way...and instinctive reaching for the peanut brittle wasn't a physical craving for anything in particular, but an emotional craving to momentarily recreate a little piece of my childhood. And, ya know, having recognized it for what it was, I feel okay with that.
Last edited on 3 November 2009 10:02 pm by suenos
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jackbenimble
New Member
| Joined: | 1 May 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 761 |
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Posted: 6 November 2009 02:33 pm |
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Heya Suenos!
So, I have to say I loved your breakdown of your craving for the peanut-brittle. It absolutely makes sense. Your depth of self-understanding by analysis of what *want* to eat, and how achieve control over your food intake through that, is really interesting. I don't think I've ever in my life nibbled on a sweet or tossed half of it if I liked it. I think you might be onto something here.
I'm not sure it will work for me though. Self-understanding can be a painful process, for one thing - it can be hard to be ruthlessly honest with yourself :) Last edited on 6 November 2009 02:46 pm by jackbenimble
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 7 November 2009 05:02 am |
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jackbenimble wrote:
I'm not sure it will work for me though. Self-understanding can be a painful process, for one thing - it can be hard to be ruthlessly honest with yourself :)
Ya know Jack it may or may not - we all gotta find our own way - whatever that looks like......and who knows, in six days, weeks, months or years I might be doing something totally different...this is just what I'm finding working for the here and now.
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 14 November 2009 06:15 am |
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holy cow.....Friday the 13th - thank goodness it's over.
So, big, big, big news for me. We decided today, firm decision that makes me giddy with relief - I'm quitting my job in the next 7 to 12 week time frame.....the sooner the better but it all depends on how the budget looks when we really do it in detail this week-end.
Here's the part that might sound crazy (and just might be as a matter of fact) - I totally do not have another job lined up (but may or may not by then). But, honestly, the stress is just literally killing me physicallyand sucking my soul dry. The $$$$$ is just not worth it - really it's not. I don't know what my next employment will look like - I don't even know what I want it to look like. I don't mind long hours, I don't mind hard work, I don't mind dealing with the kind of stress that is part of the territory of pretty much most jobs. But the current situation feels like it's just finally too much - and getting worse - and my constant optimism over the last two years that it's going to eventually get better has finally met a natural death.
There's more - ha, there's even stuff involving food - but I just wanted to put it down in writing to see how it feels - "I'm quitting" - yep, feels darn good.
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jackbenimble
New Member
| Joined: | 1 May 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 761 |
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Posted: 14 November 2009 02:33 pm |
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| That's great, Suenos! I just love it when you can tell an oppressive boss to take this job and shove it. This is still a free country. I just wish more people had this option - including myself :)
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suenos
Moderator
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Posted: 18 November 2009 05:01 am |
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Oh Jack, I gotta say, my boss isn't really an oppressive ogre - truthfully he's been a major positive influence in my life and I love the big guy even when we're going at it tooth and nail....I'm pretty sure that our relationship outside of being his employee will not only survive, but flourish. He's not only a father figure to me, but a mentor to W - heck I expect him to help make us rich before we're old.  It's really just the job itself. Being objective, this is a great, even fun job for someone who is single, very career oriented and singularily driven to suceed in this field. But that's not who I am and so it's just a bad fit.
------So, we've worked out a budget, figured out some important stuff, I sat down and had "the talk" with my boss today and bottom line: I'm going to stay on through the first of the year because it's our busiest season, then help hire and train my replacement while on a part-time basis and probably be saying tearful farewells to my staff by the middle of Feb. at the latest.
After that.....I'm going to work for the boy. Or really work for us. I'm going to take over everything to do with the food carts and take that load off of him and - the good news is those are actually starting to show a profit now that the equipment is paid off in full. My old training partner and I are going to see what we can do about getting our workshops going again and I'm going to get back into personal training on a part-time basis.....and....well, and we've decided that we're going to step up our one year time table and, as soon as I'm no longer working 10 hour days, we'll start "working" on that baby thang.
Life is good.
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jackbenimble
New Member
| Joined: | 1 May 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 761 |
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Posted: 19 November 2009 12:32 am |
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Hey Suenos,
Ok, I think I was extrapolating my situation onto your own - I don't have that kind relationship with my boss :)
Wow, the food-cart thing is working out???? How cool is that.
I agree - life *is* good - especially if you make that way! Congratulations to you and the boy. Does this mean you'll grow your hair back :)
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